#GE2015 Morning Lolz Briefing: Scottish Labour launch women’s manifesto and #milifandom takes off

22/04/2015
CommonWeal

CommonSpace takes a look at what’s happening today on the General Election campaign trail

LORD TEBBIT, Lord Forsyth, John Major – all the old Tory grandees are leaving their comfortable retirement homes to warn of the great Nat terror, that could wash over the UK like a bout of typhoid. It’s in the national interest for these great men to warn the dear British public that they are imperilled by Nicola Sturgeon’s yellow mob, marching its way to London and ransacking every town and village on route.

Looking past the aged hysteria, let’s find out what’s actually happening in Scotland today in the General Election.

Scottish Labour women’s manifesto launch

Glasgow East candidate Margaret Curran, UK leading light Yvette Cooper and deputy leader Kezia Dugdale are gathering in Baillieston today in the East of Glasgow to launch their women’s manifesto for the General Election campaign.

The manifesto will demand companies with over 250 workers reveal their gender pay gap, and include plans to introduce a 50 per cent quota for women on public boards.

All good stuff, but then Curran will not be able to help herself, leaving the positivity behind for a rant about full fiscal autonomy, saying benefits would be cut by PS806 under SNP’s devolution plans, which will affect women and their families. Brilliant.

Sturgeon on the NHS

Nicola Sturgeon will be making a fuss about the NHS today, saying her party’s plans to increase spending by PS9.5bn above inflation beat Labour’s plans, and will ask why Ed Miliband won’t match her party’s commitment.

She’ll say: “Labour in Scotland now need to back our plans on the health service or explain to people why they are more committed to cuts than to our NHS.”

In the game of ‘my NHS is bigger than yours’, Jackson Carlaw from the Scottish Conservatives will join in, visiting a care home in East Renfrewshire to talk about his party’s plans for NHS spending increases.

Maybe each party should be asked to create miniature hospitals out of play doh, with each 1cm of doh equivalent to PS1m of NHS money, and then we could really find out which one has the biggest NHS hospital.

#Milifandom takes off

The big issue of the day may be the continuing rise of #milifandom: teenage girls are turning their backs on Justine Beiber and that one from One Direction with the curly hair, and are instead embracing goofy Ed as the man of their dreams.

Abby, @twcuddleston, has proclaimed herself spokesperson of the #milifandom, and has already lambasted pathetic efforts to make #Cameronettes a social media thing.

An account claiming to be from ‘Emily’ stated “Leader of the Cameronettes, we are against all the negative things said about David”, but media-savvy Abby immediately snuffed it out as a fraud.

“Nice try Cameron’s PR team, but I don’t think that’s going to work,” Abby said.

Another member of the #Milifandom, Aisha, took things a step further, tweeting: “I love Ed Miliband so much it is painful.”

Unfortunately for Ed, 16 and 17 year olds can’t vote in this election.

Developments on #milifandom versus #cameronettes may or may not receive updates throughout the day.

Picture courtesy of net_efekt