Jockalypse Now: Twitter excels itself with #jockalypse hashtag

07/05/2015
CommonWeal

The latest hashtag to take Twitter by storm and see us get nothing else done

WE’VE had #notruledoutbytheSNP and #biggestcrisissincetheabdication, but perhaps the best of the General Election funnies has been the #joackalypse tag, a swipe at a comment made by London Mayor Boris Johnson.

With the renowned Scottish humour, the people of Scotland took it in their stride and had a laugh.

We’ve rounded up some of the best tweets.

One of the Queen’s two birthdays to be replaced with White Pudding Supper Appreciation Day. #Jockalypse

— Dr Brooke Magnanti (@belledejour_uk) May 7, 2015

Referring to MPs as “the right honourable….” to be abandoned. Will now be known as “That bawbag…” #Jockalypse

— Fergie ex-Glasgow (@cath426) May 6, 2015

Everyone in England will be required to put “Mc” in front of their surname #Jockalypse

— James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) May 6, 2015

Smackaroonies will become legal tender #Jockalypse

— Johnny_Scotland (c) (@Johnny_Scotland) May 6, 2015

Every time Sturgeon takes a selfie with another person she steals their soul. BE AFRAID. #Jockalypse

— Shaun (@Shiny02) May 5, 2015

Scottish banknotes finally accepted in England as legal tender #Jockalypse

— Andrea (@greenpea38) May 7, 2015

London Marathon will now involve walking 500 miles, then 500 more #Jockalypse

— TheBigPaul-C (@TheBigPaulC) May 7, 2015

String vest and dirty head bandage to be worn by all UK males as normal workwear #Jockalypse

— DAVID SMART (@fehvepehs) May 7, 2015

All sausages to become square #Jockalypse

— TheBigPaul-C (@TheBigPaulC) May 7, 2015

All bread to be replaced with Mother’s Pride plain loaves #Jockalypse

— TheBigPaul-C (@TheBigPaulC) May 7, 2015

All girls born after today must be named ‘Wee Nicola’ #Jockalypse

— TheBigPaul-C (@TheBigPaulC) May 7, 2015

‘See You Jimmy’ to become standard way of answering phones #Jockalypse

— TheBigPaul-C (@TheBigPaulC) May 7, 2015

From this day forward BBC weather forecasters must start using the word dreich #Jockalypse

— Ali Robertson (@alirobertson55) May 7, 2015

All car horns to play Scotland the Brave #Jockalypse

— TheBigPaul-C (@TheBigPaulC) May 7, 2015

Your lunch will become your dinner and your dinner will become your tea #Jockalypse

— Marplesmarbles (@Marplesmarbles) May 7, 2015

@WellingtonCone House of Commons voting will now be cast on basis of the ‘ayes’ and the ‘aye rights’ #Jockalypse

— Ian Falconer (@IKFalconer) May 7, 2015

Every child starting secondary school in England will be sent an errand to the Art Department to get some tartan paint #Jockalypse

— lynn (@lynnos) May 6, 2015

From Friday on, ‘fizzy pop’ is to be known as ‘ginger’. #Jockalypse

— Derick Lamond (@DerickLamond) May 6, 2015

On friday morning everyone in the uk will be asked what team they really support #Jockalypse

— Hugh mcmillan (@shugstar73) May 6, 2015

#Jockalypse Speaker of the House is referred to as Heid the baw from Friday

— stephen (@philystine) May 6, 2015

#Jockalypse “You’ll have had your tea” will be the new greeting in London

— stephen (@philystine) May 6, 2015

Big Ben will be re-programmed to play 500 Miles on the hour. #Jockalypse

— Mike Langan (@grandatweet) May 6, 2015

Picture courtesy of Twitter and CommonSpace