McDash Reports: Adele’s Swifty sabotage; Corbyn and Sanders to form supergroup; Jeremy Hunt’s brain abducted by aliens


CommonSpace’s Balder McDash brings the week’s big stories

Adele’s Swifty sabotage


POP-SINGER Adele last week suffered a technical malfunction during her performance at the Grammy Awards.

A CommonSpace investigation into the live disaster has revealed that Taylor Swift was responsible. The ‘Bad Blood’ singer played an out-of-tune guitar off-stage during Adele’s performance.

Viewers were angered by the disruption, with TOFFcom receiving more than three complaints; enough to take the BBC off-air for over a month.

Swift’s actions were reportedly her way of showing that Kanye West is not the only celebrity capable of pulling off a stunt at an awards ceremony.

Rapper, singer and all-round Mr-I-am-everything Kanye West said: “I made Tay Tay do it. I made her famous. I am her inspiration. I am her OG. I am her!”

Corbyn and Sanders to form supergroup


THE worlds of music and politics this week collided after the unexpected announcement that US presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is set to team up with Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

The pair are reportedly in talks with Simon Cowell’s record label TotalSYCO for plans to form a musical supergroup: Jernie Sorbyn.

A spokesperson for Sanders commented: “We believe that Corbyn will give our presidential campaign a much needed boost. He’s the missing piece of the jigsaw.”

Corbyn launched his music career in 2015 with his smash hit Christmas single ‘Labour’s Going Underground’. However, amid declining popularity in the charts, it is widely rumoured that the decision to form the group was motivated by his financial needs.

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon is rumoured to have written to both Sanders and Corbyn with a suggestion for a different group: NicJernie Sorgeon.

Jeremy Hunt’s brain abducted by aliens


THIS WEEK the debate over junior doctor contracts ran into new territory after Nasa confirmed that health secretary Jeremy Hunt’s brain had been abducted by aliens.

Analysts said the news may explain his actions over the past couple of months: cosmic, out-of-this-word and irrational.

It is reported that an extra terrestrial race, known as ‘The Doctrables’, from the planet Nebula Hectegon Starwald (NHS), exchanged his brain with one of their own shortly before Christmas 2015. The whereabouts of Hunt’s human brain are unknown.

Prime Minister David Cameron commented: “Are the aliens related to Alex Salmond?”

Pictures courtesy of AlexKormisPS (ALM) , Marc Nozell and Bill Dickinson