McDash Reports: Cameron admits: I haven’t a clue; Miliband takes to the dance floor; Queen and Sturgeon discuss Justin Bieber


CommonSpace weekend reporter Balder McDash brings the big stories

Cameron admits: I haven’t a clue


ONLY seven days after making a controversial U-turn on his attitude towards refugees, Prime Minister David Cameron this week admitted he doesn’t have a clue when it comes to governing the country.

In an exclusive interview with Jeremy Taxman, Cameron was asked: “Prime Minster, how do you manage to be so consistently average?”

He replied: “If I’m honest, I make it up as I go along. I haven’t a clue what I’m doing. But I’m excellent at bluffing. I learned that trick from my days at the Bullingdon club.

“Who needs substance when you’ve got smoke and mirrors?”

Boris Johnson commented: “Totally agree with what Dave has said. Bluffery is what us Tories do best.

“All you need if an unusual haircut, a cleverly crafted personality, a nice suit, and huzzah, you’re running the country.”

Miliband takes to the dance floor


THE BBC this week confirmed that Ed Miliband will be joining this year’s line up on Strictly Come Dancing.

Ed had been keeping a low profile since his party failed to return more than 232 MPs to the Commons in the General Election.

Speaking from his dressing room, Miliband commented: “Yeah I’m really excited to be on show.

“Looking back, I really didn’t stand a cha-cha-chance in the election. Now I know where I truly belong… the dance floor. And it’s great to be mixing with some of the ordinary, hard-working people of Britain.”

He added: “I’ve heard some people say I’m not tough enough to win this competition. And I’d like to respond to them directly by saying, hell yes I’m tough enough; just ask Russell Brand. To you at home I say this…you decide.”

Presenter Claudia Winkleman commented: “Ed? Wasn’t it David we were hoping for?”

Queen and Sturgeon discuss Justin Bieber


SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon this week revealed details of her conversation with HRH Queen Elizabeth II on a train journey from Edinburgh to Galashiels.

The pair are reported to have discussed the release of Justin Bieber’s new single.

Speaking from a Vogue magazine photoshoot, Sturgeon commented: “Me and her Maj had a great wee blether about Bieber’s new single ‘Whit Dae Ye Mean?’.

“We’re both devoted Beliebers and supporters of good quality music. Justin’s a great lad.”

Justin Bieber is reported to have said: “I owe everything to my fans. I love each and every one of them. It’s great to have the support of the Queen and that Scottish lady.”

The office of Her Majesty the Queen said: “Who’s Nicola Sturgeon again?”

Pictures courtesy of ARCHIVED Department of Energy and Climate Change , Adam Sundana and Number 10