CommonSpace’s Balder McDash brings some of the week’s big stories
Jeremy Hunt joins the dark side
IT was this week announced that Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has joined the dark side.
The news comes a number of months after he announced controversial new working hours for junior doctors.
On Tuesday, junior doctor rebel forces took a stand against the empire and protested in the streets.
Hunt’s use of force and his inability to compromise confirms a widely held suspicion that he has in fact joined the dark side as Darth Hunt.
Hunt commented: “Well I’m thrilled about it all. I’m excited to stand beside Kylo Ren and Darth Vader and watch as the NHS crumbles.”
SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon, who is rumoured to be in talks to play a leading role in the next instalment of the Star Wars franchise, commented: “Just wait till a get ma hands on wan o thae sabers o light! I’ll teach Hunt a lesson.”
Corbyn tops Brit nominations
LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn was this week announced as a nominee for four Brit Awards.
The news comes only two months after the release of his Christmas single ‘Labour’s Going Underground’.
Corbyn’s Christmas single was produced Simon Cowell’s record label TotalSYCO and made it to #4 in the official UK charts.
For many, the number four is representative of the different factions within the Labour party: Blairite, socialist, Tony Blair in 1997 and Diane Abbott.
Corbyn has been nominated for Best British Male Artist, Best British Single, Worst Dressed Artist and The Diane Abbott Special Recognition Award.
Corbyn, who is reportedly planning a hill walking trip to Las Vegas, will not be attending the prestigious awards ceremony. Diane Abbott will collect any awards on his behalf.
Jim Murphy to chair EU referendum debate
THIS WEEK it was announced that former Scottish Labour leader Jim Murphy has been appointed to chair an upcoming TV debate on the EU referendum.
The news came as a shock to many in Scotland who are still scarred by the shambolic, disastrous, tormented and troubled Better Together Campaign. It is reported that Murphy has been appointed as someone who has ‘worked closely with all parties; even ones he’s meant to despise’.
The TV debate, scheduled for two months’ time, will open with a dreary and dour monologue from Murphy and finish with him singing a rendition of ‘Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word’.
Prime Minister David Cameron commented: “I’m confident that Jim is the man for the job.
“We loved working with him during the referendum campaign. In fact, he was over at No. 10 quite often. We became close and often spent many evenings in armchairs beside the fire.”