Writer Mick Clocherty says Harry Potter author JK Rowling should have a rethink about her Potter-on-politics comparisons
CAMERA one pans in on JK Rowling, who is on Question Time for some reason. David Dimbleby hushes an excited crowd, and they now sit in reverent silence awaiting Rowling's response.
She has just been asked a difficult question about the general public and its potential misconceptions on the subject of Islam. A logical and fair-minded comment is what's needed. The left side of her lip curls involuntarily, into a smirk.
She gazes straight into camera two, like she's saying "can you believe this shit?", and says: "A bit like the centaurs, who live in the Forbidden Forest outside of Hogwarts, isn't it?"
Are we going to start seeing stories about how all Jeremy Corbyn would see in the Mirror of Erised is bloated trade union bureaucracy? Is the Dail Mail going to start calling Dennis Skinner a Horcrux?
Air horns start blasting the Harry Potter theme. The crowd cheer louder than you ever thought was possible for Question Time. Twitter literally melts as frenzied masses discuss what she could have meant by that.
No? Give it about two years.
In the ongoing political reality show that is 'the media vs Jeremy Corbyn', there was a recent headline news story about how JK Rowling wouldn't compare Jeremy Corbyn to her fictional wizard, Dumbledore.
Corbyn, under no small amount of pressure, then subsequently invited her for a meeting with him. Is this what it has come to? Are we going to start seeing stories about how all Jeremy Corbyn would see in the Mirror of Erised is bloated trade union bureaucracy? Is the Dail Mail going to start calling Dennis Skinner a Horcrux?
I'm not saying writers shouldn't comment on politics. They're often wise, erudite people (present company excluded). It's just that all these proclamations she makes does is help to further reduce the level of discourse in this country to that of a TV phone-in.
Is the best way of getting our point across really to dismiss political figures we don't agree with by labelling them evil wizards?
Is the best way of getting our point across really to dismiss political figures we don't agree with by labelling them evil wizards? She even once said things were getting a bit "death-eatery", another reference to Harry Potter books baddies, when talking about Yessers.
Even if these characters are your own creation, it just doesn't sit right. If Twitter had been around in the time of Tolkien, do you think he'd have been tweeting: "@JRRT Enoch Powell is NOT Boromir. He is Aragorn."
Don't get me wrong, I love this kind of post-modern pop-culture obsessed analysis. I could talk to you for at least an hour about the parallels between the ideology of the Sith from Star Wars and neo-liberalism.
It's just that when we're talking about evil space sorcerers and their likeness to Conservative politicians, we should be doing it on internet forums and not the six o'clock news.
JK Rowling should be urging people to take a step back from these unhelpful comparisons, but more often than not she's the person who instigates them.
If we're talking about evil space sorcerers and their likeness to Conservative politicians, we should be doing it on internet forums and not the six o'clock news.
I'm sincerely grateful to JK Rowling for the fantastical world of magic she has created, and hold no bitterness towards her over her views on the Labour leadership or the future of Scotland.
I actually genuinely like to read her input on a lot of these topics. Maybe just leave the house-elf and Voldemort comparisons out of it? It would be nice to hear her take on an issue where she didn't underline severity by comparing it to a piece of young-adult fiction, written by herself.
But then again, what do I know? I'm just another Rita Skeeter.
Picture courtesy of Tracy Lee Carroll
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