Writer Scott Wilson says media portrayals of masculinity combined with the antics of so-called men's rights activists is ultimately harming men everywhere
WITH the headline "stop crying and man up", the Daily Mail continued its fascination with men crying on screen during the recent series of I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!.
Similarly, it seems uncomfortable with public displays of affection between men such as when two Olympic gold medalists celebrated their win with a hug. The message is clear: should men show any sort of emotion or vulnerability, the paper will highlight it while pining for the good old days when men were stoic and battle-hardened.
Masculinity is having a good old time of it in 2016, and the recent International Men’s Day was a timely reminder of how diverse the approach to issues facing men is. The question of whether we really need an International Men’s Day ought to be easily dismissed – yes, should be the answer, as there are a lot of problems being left unsaid, and the theme of this year’s IMD was about stopping male suicide.
Masculinity is having a good old time of it in 2016, and the recent International Men’s Day was a timely reminder of how diverse the approach to issues facing men is.
But, asking whether we ought to have one highlights the dominance of men in our society, as well as the ridiculous approach men’s rights activists have towards supposedly supporting their gender (often involving berating women online, and not saying much at all about masculinity).
It is possible – easy, even – to talk about issues facing men without having to talk down the issues facing other genders. To say that the suicide rate of men in the UK is higher than women is a harrowing truth that highlights a problem while having no need to talk down what causes women to commit suicide.
Both are problems, and neither are in conflict with one another – they simply highlight a necessity to approach them separately and differently. Indeed, women are more likely to have suicidal thoughts and attempt suicide, but men are more likely to complete suicide.
Anecdotally, young men in particular who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts speak about their struggles with masculinity. Whether it is homophobic and sexist insults, being told to "get on with it", or finding it difficult to open up to male peers about mental struggles, young men who feel suicidal are often pushed there by feeling like they do not live up to society’s standards of their gender.
It is possible – easy, even – to talk about issues facing men without having to talk down the issues facing other genders.
This is why the Daily Mail’s articles centred on crying men are not only harmful, but are part of the murderous system that make men feel like they must act a certain way, or consider themselves to be lesser.
It promotes a stoicism that leads to the bottling up of emotions and lack of emotional ties between men that would allow them to open up and communicate when life gets too much.
These articles are often ignored by the misogynistic men’s rights activists, too. Due to their focus on attacking women, they have sullied any conversation about issues facing men, thanks to how vocal and vicious they are.
To be an activist for the bettering of masculinity, the finger should be pointed at articles shaming men for expressing themselves, and not at women who have many fights to overcome. We can fight together against gender norms and gender oppression.
By not talking about issues that face men in an open and mature manner, we let the men’s rights activists dominate the public perception of activism needed within masculinity.
To be an activist for the bettering of masculinity, the finger should be pointed at articles shaming men for expressing themselves, and not at women who have many fights to overcome. We can fight together against gender norms and gender oppression.
To reclaim it, men must challenge the oppressive standards set for us. We can be burly, stoic, independent, a natural leader and confident. We can also be vulnerable, expressive, emotional, passive, skinny and shy. If you identify as male, you are a man – it is that simple.
Many factors out there in society are currently seeking to determine what makes, or breaks, a man, and it leads to high suicide rates, male violence against women, bullying, gang violence, and many other things that make us poorer as a society.
Ignore the men’s rights activists, reclaim the conversation, and we can start having sensible discussions that lead to a future where masculinity is all-encompassing and something worth celebrating.
If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can contact The Samaritans by telephone on 116 123 or visit the website for help and information.
Picture courtesy of Chris Suderman
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