Tam O’Banter: Edinburgh polis get into the spirit on #BurnsNight


“Tak a minute o yer time, tae read this crime prevention rhyme…”

POLICE in Edinburgh have been getting wired into the whisky early ahead of Burns Night and came up with their own Tam o’ Shanter rhyme in honour of the Bard.

Enjoy. You’ve been telt, as they say.

When you and your family leave the streets,
And drouthy scoundrels, scoundrels meet;
As market days are wearing late,
Some folk begin to jump your gate,
While we sit praying there’s more than a yale,
On your front door, unlocked and open (their holy grail)

We don’t think of the long Scots miles,
The marshes, waters, steps and stiles,
That lie between us and your hame,
Just catching the scoundrels is our aim

This truth finds an honest Kenny Mac
Our new commander, to Edinburgh – he’s back
Auld Edinburgh wham ne’er a town surpasses,
For honest men and bonny lasses.

Commander Mac has been sae wise
Tae give you a wee bit ae advice…
He tells thee tae tak good care o’er the darker nights
Wi locks and timers and plenty lights,
That frae November until March,
These simple steps could play a big part
In keeping thieves awa fae yer hoose
Keep valuables locked up and not out loose

For every scoundrel and opportunistic fool,
Will use yer spade, yer clippers or another tool
Tae get tae yer riches, yer motor and the like
So hide the keys fae aw the wee tykes

By aw means tak and enjoy a dram for oor pal Burns
But dinny tak it so far to end in a stomach churn!
The polis office is no place for a set and a reel
So behave yerselves neibors, and all will be weil

Picture courtesy of Alice